As travelers, we meet people on the road. And as we meet people, sometimes we get questions that have been asked too many times that you can’t help but just create an FAQ to give away so you don’t have to answer them over and over.
And it’s not just about those repetitive questions that you always hear but also those ignorant assumptions about solo female travelers. So here are the 3 questions that solo female travelers are tired of hearing.
1. Who is funding your trip?
When people ask me who is funding my trip (aka who’s your sugar daddy?) it really pisses me off. I remember partying in Las Vegas and met this guy who was hitting on me and eventually asked me how can a brown-skinned Filipina like me afford to travel to so many places.
It baffled him that he needed to ask. Before you tell me that I was just probably over reacting, his follow up question was “so where’s the white boyfriend?”
I got this all the time. Not just from other nationalities but also from our own immigration officers who think that when a young Filipina is going outside of the country, it automatically equates with a foreign guy flying me out to his own country. Many times I had to answer the question “are you visiting your boyfriend?”.
These people think that women, especially Asian from a poor country, can’t afford to send themselves abroad. That there’s always a guy somewhere in the background. And I find this very insulting. And sexist. And plain ignorant.
There are lots of ways to ask how someone funds their travels without being insulting someone’s capability to provide for themselves. Maybe try tact sometimes?
2. Why are you traveling alone?
When people ask me why I travel alone, I just normally say “because I’m despicable human being whom no one can stand”. Obviously, I’m only half kidding. But seriously???
It’s not being a loner or being the most hate human being to ever step on this planet or not even being courageous or badass. Most of the times it’s about being convenient.
If I will wait for my friends (or even my family) to become available for me then I won’t be able to get anywhere. Not even the next town to us.
If I will wait for my friends to have money for travels, then I won’t even see a plane in my life. Or if I wait for my friends to be ready, then hell will freeze over and I will be in hell digging snow and my friends will not be ready still.
So yes it’s more convenient not to wait and just make new friends on the road. That way you won’t lose friends as well if they happen to be incompatible with your travel style.
3. Why are you not married yet?
I hope I can answer this question with scientific evidence so I can shut people up. But sad to say people don’t have the common sense sometimes that they think getting married is like buying a t-shirt.
Them: Why are you not married yet?
Me: I realized that I love money more than boys.
Them: Why?
Me: Because marriage is not for me I guess?
Them: How so?
Me: Because I haven’t met someone that will sweep me off my feet, feed me every day, who doesn’t complain, I hope with 6 pack abs at least and will call me “bae” on Facebook?
There is time for everything. Especially marriage. And if marrying is as easy as having a crush, I’m telling you, I would be married as many times as the cities I have visited. And sad to say, men, don’t get to ask this as often as women.
And it happens quite often after people learned you are traveling solo. And you’re a woman. Because husbands won’t let you travel alone right?
A lot of female solo travelers just don’t get to ask these questions but also a receiving end of most peculiar things that people tell them. Here’s a humorous write-up by Abby of The Winged Fork for the most bizarre and weird things that people tell women when traveling.
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Can so relate to these! Grrrr. Hahahah
Di ba kaasar? Lol
I love travelling alone because then I can choose where I go and what I see. Gah why are people so ignorant sometimes.
It’s so annoying that you still get silly questions like this! And I can’t get over the racism from some people. Like how a Filipina can afford to travel?! That makes me so angry. Go you for not letting these haters get to you. Keep travelling and doing you!
Amanda | https://ldnrose.com
Great post! I often traveled alone and while no one asked me who was funding my trip, I did get the “why are you alone?” and the boyfriend/husband reference often. So annoying! Also, people telling me I’m “brave” for traveling on my own… *sigh*
Loved your pictures! You look very happy on your adventures and I can honestly say that some of these questions are really dumb!!
Hahaha, I loved this post. I have a friend who travels alone and I remember admiring her for having that independence to go where she wants and when she wants. I’ve never travelled alone BUT I’d certainly never think to ask such questions coz they’re plain rude to me.
OMG, I had someone ask me and 2 other women that were out in freaking Houston, Texas where our husbands were. Then he followed that up with “I can’t believe you husbands allowed you to travel alone.” We were there to run the conference that he was attending. We were so disgusted that one women threw her hands up and said “I can’t take this right now” and we all walked off. I travel alone all the time too, and I’ve been asked all these ignorant questions.
Sorry to hear that! It’s already 2017 and it’s a shame that people still think women are weak.
I just read this and I been laughing.. and truthfully you aren’t wrong.. really
Such a great post, and it really resonates too 😀 I also get tired when people ask me “are you ok?” when I wander off alone – as if wanting to be alone can only mean you’re depressed or something’s wrong.